As a new mum, life can feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster. The joy of welcoming our new babies into the world is accompanied by feelings of exhaustion and after pregnancy, birth, recovering and possibly breastfeeding, it can feel like your body is no longer your own.
Alongside this, there are still many hormonal changes happening and for many, unprocessed feelings from birth, especially if it wasn’t as planned. Along with sleepless nights, pressure from society, body image struggles and changes in relationships, emotions can run high with anger, overwhelm, loneliness, sadness and more being experienced, sometimes all in one day.
Feeling disconnected from your body, pleasure and life is common. But here’s the thing:
There's a difference between experiencing emotions and truly feeling them in your body.
Emotions can overpower our ability to connect with the physical sensations they create - for example, the emotion of anger can feel so big and all-consuming, that we might be unaware of the feeling it makes in the body, a common one being tightness in the chest.
As a new mum, emotional activation can happen daily, by the cries of our babies, social media images of "perfect" motherhood, comments or unsolicited advice from well-meaning friends and family, or arguments with partner(s).
This doesn't just affect our emotional well-being; it can also impact our ability to experience pleasure. With all that emotional activation, it can be easy to de-prioritize our own pleasure and lose touch with the sensuality of our bodies, the simple joys of self-care, and the intimacy of connection with our partners.
So, how do we reclaim ownership of our bodies and cultivate a deeper sense of connection and pleasure in the midst of all this? Clearing the clutter – both physical and emotional – allows us to regulate our systems. Practices like breathwork and movement can be simple, but effective at releasing tension or other physical feelings, and the related emotions in the process. Once this happens, we can feel clearer and rediscover connection to the body. Self-care and pleasure becomes not just a luxury, but a vital component of our well-being as mothers and as Femmes.
Lastly, when we're physically, emotionally, and mentally clear, we're better equipped to navigate the challenges of motherhood with grace and resilience without disconnecting in the process. We become more aware of our own needs and desires, allowing us to show up more fully for ourselves and for our loved ones.
I invite you to not only embrace the full spectrum of emotions that come with the transformative journey of motherhood, but to do so without letting them overshadow your ability to connect with yourself.
Natalie Martin is an Author, Menstrual Cycle & Life Coach and recently she became a first time mum to her beautiful son. She is also a Certified Level-1 Year-1 Fembodiment™ Method Facilitator, and a a guest blogger at The Fembodiment™ Institute.