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Finding Intimacy Again With Your Partner After Birth

Whether you’re a first time mum or a mum again, it can be challenging to find time and energy for yourself with a baby and, as a result, intimacy with your partner can take a back seat.

As well as the challenges that come with early motherhood, feelings of anger and resentment are common. The extra mental load and feeling ‘touched out’ from having constant contact with your little one(s) can create a barrier to sexual connection that can last for weeks, months or even years.

In eastern philosophy, sexual energy and life force energy (the energy that motivates us, fuels creativity and makes us feel alive) are the same thing - and that’s good news because it means working on one aspect, e.g intimacy with yourself/partner, can have a direct impact on your physical energy too - no bad thing when you’re navigating sleepless nights!

It’s important to remember that intimacy doesn’t have to be sexual, and a little bit can go a long way as a glue that binds you and your partner together with strengthened connection.

Acknowledging and releasing resentment

First and foremost, acknowledging your true feelings is an important step. Resentment can easily build when you’re overwhelmed and exhausted. Take some time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner who may be feeling the same emotions. Being able to communicate openly is a great foundation for intimacy to build upon as you share without apportioning blame.

Micro-Moments of connection

In the midst of parenting demands it’s easy to think there’s simply no time for intimacy. But it can be found in small, everyday and unexpected moments. A gentle touch, kiss, or a few moments of eye contact can be incredibly powerful, even if there’s no energy for anything more. These micro-moments of connection can help keep the flame between you alive and remind you both of your bond.

Last but not least - patience.

You probably don't need to be told that becoming a parent (or a parent again) is a big transformation. Scientists have discovered that a woman’s brain physically changes after giving birth and can stay that way for up to two years afterwards. Understanding that things take time, whether it’s adjusting to parenthood, feeling comfortable with your body or feeling desire can go a long way.

Reconnecting with your partner as a new mum is a journey that requires patience and intentionality. By acknowledging your feelings, embracing micro-moments and taking things slowly, you can nurture a deep, fulfilling connection that may even be more intimate than before.

Natalie Martin is an Author, Menstrual Cycle & Life Coach and recently she became a first-time mum to her beautiful son. She is also a Certified Level-1 Year-1 Fembodiment™ Method Facilitator and a guest blogger at The Fembodiment™ Institute.

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