
I often witness a recurring pattern in the women I work with—a deeply ingrained struggle to receive. Whether it’s allowing themselves to feel fully deserving of pleasure, accepting support from others, or simply taking up space unapologetically in their lives, many women are wired to give, but not to receive.
This isn’t just a personal challenge; it’s a societal story written into our bones, passed down through generations. To truly unlock the art of receiving, we need to look beyond the surface and dive into the cultural, emotional, and energetic forces that have conditioned women to feel that giving is their worth, and receiving is somehow selfish or shameful.
The Conditioning Runs Deep
From an early age, girls are often praised for being helpful, kind, and nurturing. We’re told to think of others before ourselves, to be “good” daughters, friends, partners, and mothers. While generosity and kindness are beautiful qualities, the unspoken message is clear: You are valued for what you give, not for who you are or what you need.
This narrative doesn’t just live in the mind—it gets stored in the body. Over time, women may develop a subconscious resistance to receiving, even when their body aches for touch, rest, or connection. Pleasure, in particular, becomes fraught with guilt or shame.
Think about how often women apologise for needing something:
“Sorry, I’m being so demanding.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Am I taking up too much of your time?”
This language is a reflection of deeper fears—fear of rejection, of seeming selfish, or of being unworthy.
The Pleasure Paradox
This struggle to receive shows up most poignantly in pleasure. Whether it’s in intimate relationships, solo sensuality, or simply enjoying life’s delights, receiving pleasure is an art that many women find unfamiliar, even uncomfortable.
The inability to receive pleasure often ties back to the nervous system. If a woman has been conditioned to live in a state of hypervigilance—always scanning for what others need—her body can perceive relaxation and enjoyment as unsafe. This manifests as:
Difficulty staying present during intimate moments.
Tendency to “perform” in bed rather than surrender.
Guilt or discomfort when taking time for self-pleasure or indulgence.
Pleasure requires trust—trust in yourself, trust in your body, and trust in your partner or environment. Without this trust, receiving becomes a distant dream.
How to Reclaim the Art of Receiving
Reclaiming the art of receiving isn’t just about learning new habits; it’s about unlearning the old ones. It’s a process of re-embodying your inherent worthiness, breaking free from the stories that tell you your value is tied only to what you give.
Here are a few practices to begin this journey:
1. Start Small, But Start Intentionally
Begin by noticing where you resist receiving in everyday life. Can you let someone open the door for you without feeling awkward? Can you accept a compliment without deflecting it? These small moments of grace build the muscle of receptivity.
2. Create Space for Pleasure
Prioritise sensual self-care. This could mean carving out time to massage your body with luscious oils, using a Jade Egg to reconnect with your pelvic centre, or simply sitting with your breath and tuning into how your body feels in the moment.
3. Reframe Worthiness
Remind yourself daily: I am worthy of receiving just as I am. Write it down. Speak it aloud. Let it sink into your cells.
4. Heal the Nervous System
Explore practices like breathwork, Fembodiment practices, or restorative Jade Egg yoga to teach your body how to feel safe in relaxation and pleasure. When your nervous system learns that stillness isn’t dangerous, you’ll find it easier to open and receive.
5. Expand Your Capacity to Ask
Receiving also requires asking—something many women struggle with. Practice stating your needs, even in small ways. For example:
“I’d love for you to hold me tonight without any expectation.”
“Can you take this off my plate? I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
6. Lean into Your Desires
Receiving is intimately tied to desire. Women often suppress their wants out of fear of being too much. But your desires are sacred—they are a map back to yourself. Honour them.
Why This Matters
The art of receiving isn’t just about feeling good (though that’s reason enough). It’s about reclaiming balance in your life. When you give without receiving, you deplete yourself. When you learn to receive, you replenish your well, allowing your giving to flow from a place of abundance rather than exhaustion.
And here’s the beautiful paradox: when a woman learns to receive fully—in her pleasure, her life, and her relationships—she gives the people around her permission to do the same.
Receiving is a radical act of liberation. It says, I am worthy simply because I exist. It is a return to your essence, a reawakening of the radiant, receptive feminine that has always been within you.
So, ladies, let this be your reminder: you are allowed to receive. You are allowed to desire. And you are allowed to take up space in this world—not because of what you give, but because you are here.
The art of receiving is your birthright. It’s time to reclaim it.
Jenni Mears - Teacher and creator of The Fembodiment Method
This photo was taken during a Fembodiment women’s circle I facilitated during a beautiful giving and receiving practice.
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